Landslide
by YoungGrasshopper2
Summary: When Rachel is stuck with unbelievable thoughts, what will come of it? **ch. 6 up FINALLY**
1. Drive

Hey! Well, this is my first 'Friends' fic, so I hope I don't screw it up! haha I have a tendency to start a fic, and then quit near the end. So, gimme lotza reviews! It motivates me! Lol. Kinda R/R, kinda R/J. Mostly just Rachel though. It's rated PG-13 for some language and later on in the story rating will be changed to R some sexual content, and alcohol use. Pretty short first chapter, but the rest will be longer. So here it goes. Hope y'all like. =)  
  
Disclaimer- I do not own any character from Friends, or have any contact with anyone of them. I just own this story.  
  
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~chapter 1~  
  
Driving down the narrow country road, Rachel finds herself pondering thoughts she wouldn't ever think she'd be thinking about. If someone had told her this would be her life ten years ago, she'd think they were ridiculous. Turning up the radio, drowning out her cluttered mind, she relaxed. For the first time, the first time since Emma was born, she relaxed. The baby. Oh hell, what are you thinking Rachel? Leaving her with Ross! Ross!? The three-timed married, three-timed divorced, first wife's a lesbian, palentoligist Ross? Shit. Rachel dug her cellphone out from her purse, and dialed the apartment number. Ross answered after a ring. "Yeah?"  
  
"Hell, Ross what kind of answer is that?" Ross sighed, knowing why Rachel had called. Never trusting him with Emma. It was the first time she'd been out for longer than a minute since Emma was born, and he knew she'd be freaking. "She's fine, Rach." Ross could tell she was tense, and tried his best to put her mind at ease. "Am I that irrisponsible?" Rachel ignored his question, and grilled him once again. "What's she doing now?" She asked freakishly. "Sleeping. Rach, It's late for her." "Sleeping. Soundly or what? IS she tossing and turning, whining, jumping-" Ross cut her off. "Oh yeah, she's actually in her crib, jumping double dutch with the jump rope, oh-I think she's got a hula hoop in there too, go Emma go!" Ross rolled his eyes, his voice filled with sarcasm, but in the back of his mind wishing that Rachel would trust him one day. "Is she really Ross?" Rachel said her voice serious. Ross laughed, sighing. "What do you think? Rachel, take your time, we're okay. Please trust me, she's my daughter too. Just please." Rachel sighed, smiling. "Okay, honey. Alright, I trust you." "Bye sweetie." Rachel took a deep breath as she turned the steep turn that lay in front of her. The thoughts returned. One day she knew she'd have to tell these thoughts to someone, but they've been bottled up inside her for so long, she didn't know what to do. Who could she tell? It affected most everybody, and she was awkwardly confused.  
  
  
  
Chapter 2 up soon! 


	2. Why?

hey guys. sorry it took so long for this chapter. i've been hella busy with skool and stuff but i'm off for thanksgiving, and i should update more. thanks for all the sweet reviews. =) love, *rachelle*  
  
~chapter 2: Why?~  
  
Standing over Emma's crib watching her sleep, Ross took a deep breath and smiled. He loved that little girl. She was beautiful. Sleeping soundly for once, she was breathing evenly, and taking short breaths. The baby mobile was playing soft music, and although Ross could barely hear it, he knew that sound. It reminded him of his past, when Ben was a baby; someone else he rarely sees.  
  
It was odd to him. Whenever he found out he was going to have another baby with Rachel, the woman he's always loved, he was happy. Even if it was an accident, he still couldn't wait. Though sometimes it didn't show--he wanted that baby so bad.  
  
He didn't want to be with her--although, in a way he did. His emotions seemed hidden underneath the fake front he put on for everyone else. He was going to tell her his feelings one day...he just didn't know when. The moments always felt wrong, and sometimes he wished things were like they were back in highschool. When he longed for Rachel--When the lust he felt for her was just some little crush.  
  
Emma awoke with a slight whine, and Ross picked her up so gently, scooping her up with her little innocent body in the crease of his arm. "It's ok, baby." he cooed her, not over a whisper. He kissed her on the forehead, lightly. "Shhhh" He rocked her back and forth, easily. "You look just like your mother, ya know that?" He smiled at her. "Beautiful."  
  
He wished Rachel would trust him; let him see his girl that he loved more than life itself. Maybe someday-- she would.  
  
*****  
  
Rachel continued driving, the clock reaching a little past eleven. Oh God...Why the hell am I thinking this? She kept thinking.  
  
The thoughts raced through her mind like a bad dream. It would be for him, when she let it out. Damn. Why me? God, why me? She kept feeling sick, wishing that it could be something else. Anything else. She loved him in a friendship sort of way, but nothing more. She still didn't want to hurt him.  
  
And it would.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
sorry so short!! longer one soon. 


	3. Night & Endings

~chapter 3: Night & Endings~  
  
After Emma had fell asleep, and Rachel still not being back, Ross sat on the couch and turned on the TV. He realized nothing was on at this hour. Flipping through the channels, he laughed slightly when he saw Joey re- running on Days Of Our Lives, on soap net. It was always funny to him to see his goofy friend playing such a part of Dr. Drake Remore'. Just as he got situated, he heard a key in the door knob jingling. It turned, as Rachel walked in.  
  
"Hey." She said, quietly not wanting to wake up Emma.  
  
"Hey sweetie.. you- you ok?"  
  
Rachel nodded, not saying anything, just sitting down on the couch beside him, massaging his back gently.  
  
"Emma still sleeping?" She asked.  
  
"Uh-huh" Ross yawned. As he stood up. "I'm gonna go to bed, ok?"  
  
"Goodnight, sweetie."  
  
Ross walked in his bedroom. Before he realized it, he was fast asleep.  
  
*******  
  
The morning sunlight peeked through the window the next morning, dancing across the room in beams, as Ross woke up, and scratched the back of his head. He was surprised not to hear Emma or Rachel stirring, or crying or something of the sort. He got up, furrowed his brow quizzically, and peeked in Rachel's room. The sheets were messy, but no Rachel. He looked in Emma's nursery walking over to her crib, no Emma. He walked in the living room. Same result. He shrugged, wondering where they were as he walked in the kitchen, and saw a note laying on the coffee pot.  
  
Ross,  
  
Hi honey...This is hard for me, but I need some time away. I took Emma. We will be back...but it'll be awhile. Please, please don't worry. I'll call you when the time is right, just please give me some time.  
  
Love You,  
  
Rachel  
  
Ross looked at the note and held it away from his face as he re-read it over and over. "What the hell?" he thought out loud. He took the note, and went over to Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler was sitting on the couch, watching TV, and Monica was making coffee.  
  
"She left this." He said, blankly walking in. Monica and Chandler walked over to him, reading the note.  
  
"Why?" Monica asked, confused. "What happened?"  
  
"Nothing. She's been acting weird lately, but I--I didn't do anything, I swear." Ross looked sad, as Monica gave her brother a hug.  
  
"Do--Do you know anything?" Ross asked them, looking at one of them, then to the other. They both looked as blank as his thoughts.  
  
"No...Nothing." Chandler shook his head.  
  
Ross sighed. "Okay...Ok. I'm gonna go ask Joey."  
  
"She'll be back, Ross...you know Rachel." Chandler asked before Ross walked out.  
  
"I just have a bad feeling about this." He said, as he walked out.  
  
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ahhhh sorry that one's so short. thx for all the reviews, keep em comin!!  
  
*Rachelle* 


	4. Why should it bother me?

a/n~hey guys! well, i'm sorry bout this story. 1) becuz the chapters are too short. 2) becuz im too slow on updates. im gonna start puttin em up sooner, and makin the chapters longer so yeh lol. once again, thanks for the reviews! keep it up!! *rachelle*  
  
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~chapter 4: Why should it bother me? ~  
  
Ross walked over to Joey's apartment, across the hall. Noticing it was unlocked, he walked in, and asked the same question. Joey looked like he'd just gotten out of bed, his hair messy, still in pajamas, and it was nearly twelve. He replied with a no, and shook his head, reading the note over and over like Ross did when he first saw it.  
  
"She'll be back soon, dude. Don't worry so much about it..."  
  
He said, patting Ross's shoulder. Ross sighed, wondering why he italicswasitalicsworrying so much about it. It wasn't that big of a deal,italics was it? /italics She wouldn't stay long, probably, and he understood when people needed some time away.  
  
~~~  
  
::four hours later::  
  
Rachel turned completely around, when she heard a slight cry from Emma in the backseat, almost swerving the car out of control.  
  
"Shhh, honey we're almost there."  
  
She lied. Trying to keep Emma calm. She'd just passed the North Carolina line, and they had a long way to go. Five minutes later, Emma was still fussy, and Rachel sighed, pulling over to a gas station nearby. She pulled to the gas pump, put it in the hole, and started it, picking up Emma and walking in to pay.  
  
A lady in her late fifties maybe, was running the cash register, and smiled sweetly as soon as she saw Emma. One of those italics Aww, that's the cutest baby I've ever seen! /italics smiles.  
  
Rachel smiled partially, as the lady rang up the amount she owed.  
  
"It'll be fourteen fifty-two."  
  
She said, still focusing on Emma, smiling at her the same way, and it became sickening after awhile. Rachel handed her a twenty.  
  
"Out of twenty." She said still in her baby trance. "Five fourty- eight's your change."  
  
She handed it to Rachel, counting it back in baby talk, like she was some kind of freak.  
  
"What's her name?"  
  
"Emma." Rachel replied, bluntly.  
  
"She's adorable. Aww. Es ew ar! Es ew ar!" She tapped Emma's hand, as if playing some sort of game with her.  
  
Rachel smiled, rolling her eyes on the inside, as Emma let out a shriek, not sure if it was on the verge of crying, or just playing.  
  
"We better get going." Rachel said, walking out. As the little bell on the door jingled.  
  
Rachel got in her car, and pulled off.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Yeah, it was our freshman year, Ross just totally went streaking through the Dairy Queen parking lot!" Monica laughed, being her loud self, talking to the whole gang in her apartment that night.  
  
"You dared me to." Ross replied, rolling his eyes, as he continued. "And it's only 'coz you wanted a dilly bar!!" He came back, as everyone laughed except Monica.  
  
"I'd only had one that day anyway, Ross. I was doing better!"  
  
"One as in four!" Ross pointed out.  
  
"Those things are so damn addicting!" Monica got up, and walked over to the kitchen, pouring some more wine in her glass.  
  
Everyone held up on the stories, and it was silent for a couple of minutes.  
  
"Has Rach called you yet?" Joey asked trying to break the silence.  
  
"Nah. She'll be fine though, it's not like we're a couple or anything anyway, why should it bother me?" Ross sighed, as no one objected, or agreed in a mass of awkwardness.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
As night fell, Rachel got closer and closer to the hotel she booked. Emma was fast asleep in her car seat, and Rachel's eyes were struggling to stay open, and on the road. The lines on the road became blurry to her, for the rain coming down, fogging the windshield, as the wipers streamed across, squeaking in a repeating sound. She shook her head, drinking another sip of coke, hoping the caffeine would keep her alert.  
  
The raindrops fell down on her windshield, the rain starting just a few minutes before. Falling down harder and harder it seemed as she went along, the car seemed to be convulsing gently. It was a violent rain.  
  
Rachel decided that she needed rest for the night. It was almost one anyway. A pretty nice Holiday Inn came into her view, as she saw the words VACANCY in neon red underneth it. She took the exit that led to it.  
  
Booking the room, the lady at the desk giving the same actions the lady at the gas station did earlier towards Emma, Rachel took the key. Getting in the elevator, she headed up to the fourth floor, arriving at the room the lady told her she would be staying in.  
  
She slid the small card through the slot, a little green light flashing above it, Rachel turned the knob, and walked in. Taking a deep breath, running her fingers through her hair, Rachel finally got the okay to relax.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N~ okay, so it's not italics that italics much longer, but I tried!! lol! Gimme some feedback! *rachelle* 


	5. Authors Note

A/N~~~Hey!!  
  
Well, this isn't an update, kinda stuck and i'm sorry! I'm really busy n tired, so I'm gonna be goin to bed in a few, and i PROMISE i'll make some updates tomorrow. =) jus thought, i'd thank y'all for reviewin.. I've saw some people do this so i thought i would! lol. ~*~~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~**~  
  
Mah gurl Tamara(FiShFrOmOuTeRsPaCe) hey sista! well, thank you for readin my sh!t! LoL. I luv ya sooo much and so yeh it helps when u lyk it! haha. Keep ur writin up too! it dont suck! lol it's gooood. =) plz post some of urs soon!!it's good! no1's gonna flame ya! ya rawk! hehe. love ya lots. xoxo  
  
JenniGellerBing- hi! well, thank you for givin me sweet reviews! I read alotta your stuff too, and I think you're a REALLY REALLY good writer. =)  
  
LobsterLover- hey! thank ya for your good reviews too! i kno it's kinda confusing, but i'm kinda meanin for it to be right now..lol it'll get better, promise. =D hehe  
  
Exintaris -thanks for correctin me! hehe. I do appreciate it. =)  
  
Music Is Passion- Thank ya for the review. I like you're pen name. lol.  
  
Maeva- hey thanks!  
  
EVERYONE ELSE THAT REVIEWED*- Thank you SOOO much. This is one of my first longer fics, and I am tryin! hehe. i'm gonna update, n try to make this better. ur reviews help, thanks alot!!  
  
333, Rachelle 


	6. Missing You

~chapter 5: Missing You~  
  
Ross looked out the window, seeing the sun begin to rise. He hadn't gotten any sleep that night, and he was kind of realizing that this wasn't the best thing that could happen to him.  
  
Why? She took Emma. She's gone. He doesn't know where she is. He doesn't know when she will be back.  
  
He shrugged, and thought that he might as well get up. Walking into the kitchen he went to the coffee pot, pouring a cup.  
  
The warm coffee aroma tingled his nose, as it burned the back of his throat, as he swallowed it down.  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
Rachel drove past another road sign, yawning, and thinking as she looked back at Emma, sleeping in her car seat.  
  
Damn me...I'm such a fucking evil bitch. Why? She shook her head. She felt as if she was doing the wrong thing. Going the wrong way. Doing everything wrong. And she was. She'd lied to Ross. Her baby's father. The man she once loved. The man that once loved her. Everything's complicated.  
  
Rachel passed the WELCOME TO FLORIDA road sign, as she sighed, realizing she was closer and closer to where she belonged. Or, so she thought.  
  
She picked up her cell phone, and dialed a familiar number, her fingers going to the exact buttons, memorizing them.  
  
"Hello?" A muffled voice said.  
  
"Hey..."  
  
"Rachel? How are you?"  
  
"Good. In Florida now."  
  
"Aw, really baby? That's great! Close to Orlando?"  
  
"Nah, just crossed the line. We'll be there in a few hours though."  
  
"Emma ok?"  
  
"She's asleep."  
  
"Aw...well, i'm gonna let ya go so you won't bother her okay? I'll see you when you get here. I can't wait. Love ya."  
  
"Mhm, you too. See ya soon." Rachel hung up her phone, and slipped it back into her bag.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ :::two hours later:::  
  
Ross was sitting in Central Perk. Drinking coffee. Again. Chandler, and Monica were sitting around, talking amongst themselves, as Ross and his own mind seemed to be having their own conversations.  
  
"Why did she leave?" He asked aloud, although not meaning to.  
  
"Honey, you're really tore up about this." Monica said, concerningly.  
  
"I miss Emma."  
  
"And...Rachel?" Chandler asked, trying to drag Ross on into admitting the truth.  
  
"Yes, okay...I do miss Rachel."  
  
"She's just been gone for a day Ross...Give her some time, okay?" Chandler reasoned.  
  
"Yeah...I guess you are right."  
  
"I'm always right. I'm the king." Chandler nodded, cooly.  
  
Monica hit him playfully, and rolled her eyes. They began a meaningless conversation, as Ross just sort of tuned them out.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
:::four hours later:::  
  
Rachel reached the sign that read Orlando. Yet another road sign. She was sick of them, and ready to reach her destination. She realized she almost was there, and let out a sigh.  
  
"Emma, Em, ya ok?" She said kind of loud, making sure she could hear her.  
  
Emma let out a friendly sound, and Rachel turned around smiling at her.  
  
"You're such a pretty little girl." She said, sweetly. "I love you so much."  
  
Rachel smiled nicely, as she reached a subdivision. Turning into the road, she took a deep breath. "501..502..503..504..okay" she took a deep breath, stating the house numbers to herself. "505..We're here."  
  
She turned in the driveway, the gates on the outside opening as the car pulled to a stop, closer to the house.  
  
It was brick, three stories, with a pool in the back, fountains in the front, shubbery all around. "Wow.." She whispered in awe to herself. She'd never saw his house before, much less one this big.  
  
She got out, stretching her legs, as she opened the door to the back unlocking Emma's carseat.  
  
"RACH!!!" He smiled, as a tall-dark figure came walking toward her.  
  
"Joel..." She said, taking a deep breath and smiling, he approached her as she jumped into his arms, into an embrace she'd missed. 


	7. I've Screwed Up

sorrrrry i left ya hangin for so long!! ive been having some health things goin on...but yeh here's ya an update. once again, sry so short. luv yalls. *rachele*  
  
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~chapter 6:~  
  
Rachel knew how much she loved Joel. Yet, she knew how much she loved Ross. She'd been stuck in the middle her whole life, and she was happy with both. Yet, the love she felt for Joel was so much different. So much more--- magical.  
  
No one knew about Joel. No one.  
  
It sucked. She was ashamed of how she's acted. She was dating Joel when she was carrying Emma. ROSS'S CHILD! It was so wrong. Disgraceful. Unlike her.  
  
She wished she could take it all back.  
  
"This Emma?" He reached into the car, stroaking her hair.  
  
"Yeah, yeah...this is my girl."  
  
"She's so beautiful." He looked at Rachel, stroaking her hair also, staring into her eyes. He got lost in a mass of her. How much he loved her. "Just like you."  
  
Rachel smiled, leaning in, and giving him a long kiss.  
  
::four hours later::  
  
"It's so beautiful down here." Rachel said, lounging by the pool, with Joel next to her. Her hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail, and she had on a black bikini. She saw the stares Joel was giving her, and preferably didn't mind.  
  
Emma was in her crib asleep upstairs in Joel's house, after they'd gotten settled in, earlier. They figured they'd be staying awhile...  
  
~~~~  
  
Ross sat, realizing it was yet another day without her. It was that same emptiness, that he'd felt since she'd left. He wished, she'd call him. He'd called her cell, more than once, but she'd not answered it, he figured she's probably turned it off, dodging his calls. But why would she do that? What had he did to her?  
  
He scanned his thoughts, realizing he hadn't did anything to make her leave. It wasn't his fault. Wasn't his fault at all.  
  
~~~~  
  
"I'm gonna go use the phone, okay?" Rachel informed Joel, as he rubbed the sun oil on the small of her back, and kissed it.  
  
"Don't stay long." He smiled, a small michevious smile.  
  
Rachel giggled, as she walked into his kitchen, pulling her cell phone out of her purse and dialed Monica's cell number.  
  
After two rings, she picked up. "Hello?"  
  
"Mon..Hi." Rachel said.  
  
"Rach! How are you? Where are you?" She asked, frantically.  
  
"Mon, I'll tell you but please don't tell Ross. Please."  
  
"Why are you acting weird like this?"  
  
"Promise me, you won't tell him."  
  
"Okay..Okay why?" She asked anxiously.  
  
"I'm in Orlando."  
  
"Wha-Why? Who? How long?" Monica asked, still not getting what she needed.  
  
"I just wanted to tell you...I miss ya'll already, but I'm gonna be down here for a few weeks. I'm with someone, I'm safe, Emma's ok...We're fine, so don't worry. Love you, Mon."  
  
"What? Rachel..why the hell are you acting like this? It's not you. You're not like this."  
  
Rachel took a deep breath, and realized she wasn't. She wasn't like this. She took a breath though, and knew she'd changed, and didn't care.  
  
"I know, I know okay. I've gotta go... talk to you later." Rachel rolled her eyes at herself, as she let a tear escape, hanging up the phone.  
  
'I've screwed up.' She thought to herself. 'I really have.' 


End file.
